Today vs. Someday

I spent last weekend with my extended family, mourning the loss of my uncle, Tom Corts, and celebrating his life in a nice family funeral service as well as a bigger memorial service at Samford University. There is nothing like a funeral of someone who died too young to remind one that tomorrow is not promised, so make the most of today.

One of the neat stories that came out of the weekend was that on New Year's Day, members of the family sat around a table discussing their "bucket lists" (i.e., lists of things they wanted to do before they die). When Tom's turn came he stated that if he died tomorrow, there is nothing he wanted to do that he had not done. A life lived with no regrets!

Do you have regrets? Have you thought about what regrets you or your family would have if you suddenly died? Think about the various ways we live our lives in the future. Do you ever find yourself making comments like these?

• "Once the kids are grown up, then we'll be able to decorate the house."
• "When the economy recovers, then I'll change careers."
• "Once the baby grows out of diapers, then we'll start traveling."
• "When I finally make partner, I'll be able to come home for dinner every night."

All of these comments focus on the future, but what if the future doesn't come? These mental excuses take the focus off of action today and instead push it into the future. Take the last one: it takes discipline to to get up and leave the office at a decent hour, especially if everyone else then thinks you are slacking off. But how do you know you'll stop once you reach the next level? What if you then try to reach the next highest level? What if by then your family has left you because you're never around? What if you drop dead from overwork? Extreme examples, I know, but they make the point: We can't push all our supposed happiness into the future, when the future is not guaranteed. How much will we miss by doing that? We'll never know until it is too late.

We can't do everything we want here and now--that would be irresponsible (unless, of course, you really do want to work a lot). But we don't have to put everything off until tomorrow, or next year, or someday, either. It is a balance that requires us to examine our lives regularly to ensure we are keeping all facets--work, play, family, community, and self--in perspective. Then, make the most of every day.