Another year gone by.....

I celebrated my birthday yesterday, and each year brings into sharper focus the truth behind Gretchen Rubin's observation that the days are long, but the years are short. I am now the age that my father was when I was fifteen, which cannot be possible because my father was old when I was fifteen, and surely I'm not old now.

If I double my age (43) I am faced with a number that is higher than the average expected life expectancy for men, which means I most likely have more yesterdays than tomorrows. I don't find that in itself particularly troubling, because there are enough tomorrows still left (probably) that I don't quite need to count every one. But what I do find thought-provoking is the slow transition of potential into permanence. When one is young, just starting a career or embarking on adult life, one is full of potential. There is a foundation of family, education, and some experience, but there is much more potential than there is performance, and part of the challenge and excitement of life at that age is turning that potential into something; of choosing a course from among several possible paths, and setting out to see what happens.

Now, of course, after 20 working years and with a young family of my own that is growing up, much of that potential has been turned into something else: accomplishment, in come cases; opportunities missed, in others; and simply roads not taken, because one can't do everything. Life's path is wider, more fully trod; some of my potential has been turned into a permanent record of where I've been; and while there remain opportunities to move onto other paths, the distances between the paths are farther; and rather than go back to the beginning to start a new path, I find I must take the more laborious route of fighting through the undergrowth and brush of life's forest to get there.

This is why change is harder as one ages: a change now involves overcoming a lifetime of decisions that have led to this point on the path, and such a change of path might involve a very difficult climb. Plus, one might be bringing along others on the journey, which slows down the move. Yet I am young enough still to have potential that can be used perhaps to reach different paths than the one I currently am walking down; and I wonder if there are not rewards merely for attempting the switch.

Are you going in the direction you want to go? If not, what would it take to move to a different path?