Be Rich in REM

No matter what is your actual station in life, it is easy to feel poor these days. Your house is worth a lot less than it was a couple of years ago, but your mortgage is still the same. If you've managed to keep your job, you probably won't be seeing much in the way of a raise or bonus anytime soon. And don't look to your 401k or investment account statement for solace: that's like staring over the edge of a cliff. (Oh look, way down there--there's my balance!) And even if things are going pretty well for you financially, the reality of the culture right now is that you'd better act like times are tough--so don't be too flashy with new clothes, restaurant meals, or God forbid a new car. Conspicuous consumption has been replaced by conspicuous thrift.

But, if anything, the recession has thrown into even greater focus the absurdity of seeking happiness in money and the stuff it can buy. When you levered up and bought the big house three years ago, I'll bet you thought it would make you happy forever. Did it? Be honest with yourself: even before the markets melted down, and the pressure of the mortgage started to hurt, hadn't the happiness already faded a little bit? Did you settle into the house, then your mind moved on to the next thing that you thought would secure your happiness? (e.g., "I would love a big screen TV over the fireplace. Then we could really use this room.")

Stuff is beside the point, and so is happiness, to be honest. Happiness is a byproduct of a life well-lived, not our life's goal. If we now, in difficult times, get stuck in the past (we used to live so well!) or stuck in the future (once the economy turns, then I'll be happy), we are going to repeat our mistakes and once again miss much of what is good in life today. Yes, even in austere times, there is much to find that is good.

How to find it? The Present Tense way: focus on REM--Relationships, Experiences, and Memories. Become rich in these three, and life will be good. Yes, losing a job or facing reduced hours will be hard to cope with, but spend some of your freed-up time with your partner or children or friends, and make those relationships richer. No, you can't afford the 4-star restaurant outings anymore, but get the family together in the kitchen and build a wealth of experiences cooking, eating, and cleaning up together. You will be rich in memories regardless of the balance in your bank account--and, I daresay, you will be much happier than the richest person in your neighborhood.

There will always be limits to the money we have--and right now, those limits feel uncomfortably tight. The one thing you have without any limits is love--so spend your love on those around you, and bank the memories to serve you for the rest of your life.


This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!