Introducing Weisure

Continuing our look at CNN.com's special series on work-life balance, I point you to this article that introduces a new word to the lexicon: weisure. As you might be able to guess, weisure is a melding of work and leisure; weisure time is spent doing a little bit of both, like checking your Blackberry messages at your kids' soccer practice. According to the article, weisure is fast becoming a lifestyle choice, in which it is usually ambiguous whether you are working or living; you are doing both, 24-7, easily switching from one to the other at will.

In many ways weisure is a welcome innovation. If you are a member of the creative class in the knowledge economy, whose job it is basically to think, you already know that work is doesn't always fit neatly into defined time boundries. You don't just turn your brain off at 5 pm (I hope), and good ideas have a way of popping into your mind at odd times. The rise of technology that allows us to capture and share these ideas, when and as they happen, undoubtedly is a good development that boosts efficiency.

In fact, I think fully embracing the weisure lifestyle is very alluring, particularly if you have an employer that supports it. Think about it: what if you could do your work whenever and wherever you wanted. Want to spend the summer at your family's cabin in Maine? No problem, we're paying you for your ideas, not your presence. Decide to move the family to Hilton Head for the slower pace of life? Great, just keep doing the work and check in at HQ once a month. You're a night owl but not a morning person? Fine, we won't schedule any meetings before 11a. It would take self discipline, an understanding boss, and explicit, measurable performance metrics, but it is certainly a compelling vision. (And similar in concept to the Results-Only Work Environment practiced at Best Buy and other companies, as explained here.)

But there are a couple of reasons for caution in embracing the weisure lifestyle. The first is reflected in a quote by author Dalton Conley in the CNN.com article:

"For the first time in history now, the higher up the economic ladder you go, the more likely you are going to have an extremely long workweek."

The shift over the past century from the rich being called "the leisure class" to being known as the "creative class" (implying creating, i.e. work, rather than leisure) is a topic for another time. For now, I simply point out that once it is established that you CAN work everywhere, it is not a big leap to believing you SHOULD work everywhere. And as you strive to draw the line between work and leisure, when there is a conflict, which one usually wins?

Suppose you take a one week vacation, and you notify the office of your intent to check your email and phone messages once during the week, on Wednesday. Which is more likely to happen: (a) you are so relaxed that you forget to check messages until Friday; or (b) the little blinking red light draws you like a moth to a flame on Monday, you discover an urgent issue that "requires" your immediate attention, and you end up spending an hour a day of your vacation on work issues? You see the problem: the balance between work and leisure in practice can easily end up much more lopsided than you intended. In fact, we may end up with"worksure" rather than "weisure"--the work is much more prevalent than the leisure.

The second caution about embracing the weisure lifestyle is to realize that we do not live in a vacuum. If you are all you have to worry about, then by all means embrace working and living 24/7. But most of us--I would say all of us, even the unattached among us--have relationships of some kind with other people, and those other people often ask for, and even need, our UNDIVIDED attention. When there are no boundries on our time, it becomes very hard to give that undivided attention. As cool as it is that our offices can now fit in our palms, if carrying that "office" prevents you from holding the hand of your toddler, or embracing your spouse or significant other, or lending a helping hand to your elderly parent, then what is the point? The office in your palm will not comfort you when you are lonely, or cheer you up when you are sad, or encourage you when you are weak. The work will not love you back, no matter how much you love your work.

So embrace the weisure lifestyle, counting your blessings that you live in an era when you are able to take control of your time to an extent unthinkable to workers just a generation ago. But beware lest that technology allow the work you are trying to balance instead grow to new levels unimaginable to you and the loved ones around you.

Having It All?

I stumbled across an online series on work-life balance on CNN.com this week, entitled "HAVING IT ALL: Work-Life Balance". There are several interesting topics covered in the articles in this series, and I'll comment on a few of them in the next couple of posts. But let's start with that title.

HAVING IT ALL. Is that really the goal? I believe that trying to have it all--the unchecked desire to accept no limits on money, stuff, achievements, status, hobbies, or time--is the genesis of the rat race. We want all the work we can get, without sacrificing our home life or hobbies. We want leisure to pursue our hopes and dreams, without sacrificing our career ambitions. But there are only 24 hours in the day, and the number of our days is limited, so we can't have unlimited wants. Thus every day we face micro choices with our time and attention that reflect the macro dilemmas of our lives: career vs. children; status vs. spouse; work vs. play; finances vs. friends. Presumably a series on work-life balance should help us decide NOT to try to have it all, but rather to have just enough: just enough work to satisfy our ambition, and just enough life to satisfy our soul. Finding that dividing line is an intensely personal quest, and where to draw the line is often difficult to discern.

Present Tense Living is not about having it all, it is about deciding what you WILL have. Many of us are blessed with a wealth of opportunity and choices: jobs, where to live, choices of stuff, travel, hobbies, etc. We can choose, and choose we must. If your ambition is strong and leads you to a demanding career that requires long hours, then by all means go for it--do your best, do it for the Lord, and don't look back. But make that choice fully aware that your choice means you won't be able to have the same family life, or pursue the time-consuming hobbies, of someone who chooses a slower track. To pretend otherwise will only frustrate you.

Similarly, if you choose a slower lane on purpose in order to leave plenty of time for cultivating relationships and hobbies, then don't lament you relative lack of material resources and long for the material goods that you can't afford but the person working twice as much can. We can't "have it all"--both time and money with no limits--and so we must learn to be content with what we do have, once we have been explicit about the choices we make.

So don't get caught in the trap of trying to have it all. It's impossible, and you have to be deliberate about where you draw the lines in your life. Make sure you choose where to draw them; don't let someone else draw them for you. To the extent that a series on work-life balance can help us make that decision, then it will be a welcome tool indeed.

Eat, Drink, and be Merry

This blog preaches a lot about living in the moment and enjoying every day. Who is actually doing it? The OECD has released their latest survey (2006 data) of time use in developed countries, and the Economist has printed a chart here showing two of the key lifestyle components for various countries. On the horizontal axis is total time sleeping per day, while the vertical axis represents the total time eating and drinking every day.

My first observation: who knew Americans sleep so much? Nearly nine hours a night, according to the chart, only 15 or 20 minutes less than the world-beating French. One question for the OECD: whom did you interview here? Most people I know seem perpetually tired and are lucky to get anywhere near 8 hours a night, let alone close to nine. Perhaps that's because the majority of my friends have small children, which are proven sleep destroyers. But seriously, if almost nine hours is the average, who are the people getting more than that?

My second observation: Vive la France! To come top of the chart in either one of sleeping or eating/drinking would be reason for pride, but to top the league tables in both is truly a feat to be commended. This opens up many questions for further study, such as: is the sleeping related to the drinking? Does anyone in France work? Did they count the time Americans spend eating in their cars?

I like the title to the Economist chart, which alludes to "simple pleasures." They are indeed; sleep is free, and getting enough improves life in so many ways. We have to eat to live, of course, but to take time to eat a proper meal, savoring the food and enjoying the company of those with whom you are eating it, is a life-affirming use of precious minutes in your day.

Let's do our part to boost America's standing in the world: eat at the table with your family or friends, slowly and well, and go to bed early tonight!

What is Essential?

Well, a week of spring break, followed promptly by a week or more of illness, and suddenly I find it's been a month since I wrote in the blog. Writing was not the only thing that fell behind; when one is fighting a sinus/lung/bronchial infection, one must be choosy about where to expend one's limited energy and attention every day.

Thus I quickly each day established the absolute must-do priorities each day to make sure I got those done before the funk set in. As it turns out, the truly essential does not always take long to accomplish each day. This frees up time for more prosaic activities--for me, unfortunately, it was resting and nose blowing and trying to get rid of headaches. But the point is, there is plenty of time in the day to do both the necessary and the desirable--it just takes discipline to identify the essential and get it out of the way first.

I've proved to myself yet again that time management isn't about scheduling or list-making; it's about priorities. What is it essential that you accomplish today? What else are you doing with your time? Why?

Be Rich in REM

No matter what is your actual station in life, it is easy to feel poor these days. Your house is worth a lot less than it was a couple of years ago, but your mortgage is still the same. If you've managed to keep your job, you probably won't be seeing much in the way of a raise or bonus anytime soon. And don't look to your 401k or investment account statement for solace: that's like staring over the edge of a cliff. (Oh look, way down there--there's my balance!) And even if things are going pretty well for you financially, the reality of the culture right now is that you'd better act like times are tough--so don't be too flashy with new clothes, restaurant meals, or God forbid a new car. Conspicuous consumption has been replaced by conspicuous thrift.

But, if anything, the recession has thrown into even greater focus the absurdity of seeking happiness in money and the stuff it can buy. When you levered up and bought the big house three years ago, I'll bet you thought it would make you happy forever. Did it? Be honest with yourself: even before the markets melted down, and the pressure of the mortgage started to hurt, hadn't the happiness already faded a little bit? Did you settle into the house, then your mind moved on to the next thing that you thought would secure your happiness? (e.g., "I would love a big screen TV over the fireplace. Then we could really use this room.")

Stuff is beside the point, and so is happiness, to be honest. Happiness is a byproduct of a life well-lived, not our life's goal. If we now, in difficult times, get stuck in the past (we used to live so well!) or stuck in the future (once the economy turns, then I'll be happy), we are going to repeat our mistakes and once again miss much of what is good in life today. Yes, even in austere times, there is much to find that is good.

How to find it? The Present Tense way: focus on REM--Relationships, Experiences, and Memories. Become rich in these three, and life will be good. Yes, losing a job or facing reduced hours will be hard to cope with, but spend some of your freed-up time with your partner or children or friends, and make those relationships richer. No, you can't afford the 4-star restaurant outings anymore, but get the family together in the kitchen and build a wealth of experiences cooking, eating, and cleaning up together. You will be rich in memories regardless of the balance in your bank account--and, I daresay, you will be much happier than the richest person in your neighborhood.

There will always be limits to the money we have--and right now, those limits feel uncomfortably tight. The one thing you have without any limits is love--so spend your love on those around you, and bank the memories to serve you for the rest of your life.


This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Being Deliberate, Pt. 2

Last post was about being deliberate about what you do, and I presented the "bottom-up" method for being deliberate. Now, I'll present the top-down method, which leads you to the same place: a life spent undertaking the activities that YOU choose, rather than letting yourself get pulled along by the crowd.

The difference in the top-down method is that you start with a blank sheet of paper rather than a list of all your activities. Use the blank sheet of paper as a metaphor for your life: suppose you could clear you schedule of all appointments; relieve yourself of all current obligations; and start fresh deciding what you wanted to do. Your life is now that blank piece of paper.

So, begin filling it. What do you want to do? What do you need to do? (Sorry, no clean sheet of paper can make you independently wealthy so you don't have to work.) For things you need to do, how do you wish you could accomplish them? If you could spend your days any way you wanted, how would you do it?

This may be harder than the bottom-up method. Try not to fall into the trap of listing things you think you should do--we are doing blue-sky, what-if thinking here. You may find that, relieved of the burden of your current obligations and responsibility, you have no idea what you would do with your time. This is not uncommon, and it is strong evidence that you really, really need to give yourself a break, or you are in danger of being defined solely by others.

Your list may have major projects (e.g., "learn to sail") or it may have more mundane items (e.g., eat a sit-down meal with the family at least 4 nights a week), or both. It will still have your responsibilities--family, work, spouse/partner, etc.--but should include your ideal of how those responsibilities should work. The idea is to imagine your ideal life, your ideal way of spending your time. What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to be known for? With whom do you want to spend time?

Once you have a list, the rest is simple to understand yet difficult to undertake: compare your ideal life with your actual life, and think of one action you can do today to start moving toward your ideal life. Then do that action. Tomorrow think of another, and do it. And the next day. And the next. One step at a time, your real will start to become your ideal.

None of us is ever likely to fulfill 100% our ideal life. But nor will we ever even approach it if all we ever do is dream about it. Dreams without action will always only ever be dreams. With action, they could come true.

Be deliberate about what you want to do, and be a person of action in getting those things done. Therein lies contentment and a life well lived.

Being Deliberate, Pt. 1

One of the fundamentals of Present Tense Living is being deliberate about what you do. Being deliberate means that, to the greatest extent possible, you decide on what and with whom you are going to spend your limited time and attention. You do not let the culture or your peers decide; you decide.

Now it is unavoidable that some of our time has to be spent on activities that we may not choose to do. Most of us have to work for a living, and perhaps we work at something we wouldn't choose to do if we weren't paid to do it. Or, even if you find meaning in your work, all jobs involve some activities that are mundane or downright boring. (I call this administrivia.) This is true not just at work: if you are a parent, there are certain activities (like sitting through sports practices) that no sane person would choose to spend so much time on but which are part of the deal of having kids.

But sometimes we get swept up in what is popular and find that most of our time is spent doing stuff that "everybody" does but that isn't really meaningful to us. Not that these activities aren't fun, but they add up to more than our available time, so we find ourselves being "so busy" yet not accomplishing anything meaningful. Have you ever heard anyone say (or said yourself) "I'm on the go all the time but I never seem to get anything done."? Much of the rat race consists of doing/buying/giving attention to things merely because everyone else in our social or professional circle is doing them. This habit of keeping up with the Joneses with our time is easy to understand--we don't want to seem "different"--and difficult to break.

There are two ways to start being deliberate about your life: bottoms-up or top-down. The bottoms-up way begins with writing down every single thing you do. You could get really detailed and keep a time journal for a week or two, accounting for every hour of your day. But at a minimum, sit down and list on a sheet of paper each activity you do, both at home and outside the home, both for yourself and for others. Be as thorough as you can.

Once your list is complete, check off the things that you must do--work, commute, pick up the kids at school, make dinner for the family, etc. There are probably ways to minimize the time spent on these things, but for now we'll leave them alone and just accept that we have to do them.

Next, look at the unchecked items on your list. Before you do anything else, add to the list things that are missing: the activities you wish you had time for, but somehow never do. Now, thinking carefully about your goals, dreams, talents, and desires, rank the things on your list in order of importance to you. What do you want to spend your time on? To what do you want to direct your attention? Rank them in order of importance/interest to you. You may even want to cross some completely off the list; things you no longer want to do.

You can probably see where this is going. Once you have that list in order of priority, it is just a matter of being deliberate about making time for your important activities. You allot time first to the things you have to do, then make sure your high-priority items get some time in your day or week. After that, if you have time left, you can work in the lower-priority items, or just drop them all together.

In the next post we'll look at the top-down method for accomplishing the same thing. But the point of both methods is the same: to ensure that we are not spending our time on activities that we really don't care about, that are just a form of competition and keeping up that are every bit as prideful as spending our money on things we don't care about just to maintain appearances. In both cases, we are ceding control of our lives--whether money or time--to the culture around us. That's no way to live!