Slow Parenting

In an earlier post, I mentioned Carl Honore's book In Search of Slowness. Carl has a new book coming out soon on the topic of hyper-active parenting, and how parents today push their kids to to more, earlier, than ever before. It will be published later this year; meanwhile, you can read an interview with the author here which gives a nice preview. I'm looking forward to reading the book.

Class Notes and Follow-Up--Week 4

In addition to the class notes posted before, several of you asked for a link to the Peggy Noonan article that I mentioned on Sunday. You'll find it here.

Thanks to everyone for your participation in the class. I sincerely hope you took away both new thinking and some practical suggestions for living life in the present tense.

Because we may offer the class again in future months, I would welcome your suggestions/comments/ideas for how I can make it better next time. Email me anytime at dlcorts@gmail.com.

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CLASS NOTES

The Principles of Present Tense Living

1. God CREATED time.

2. God exists OUTSIDE of time. (Exodus 3:14; 2 Timothy 1:9)

3. When time doesn’t MATTER , then TODAY is all you have.

The River Raft Trip

Whitewater vs. Float

The difference: WHAT I FOCUS ON

How are you traveling down the stream of life???

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HOW TO LIVE LIFE IN THE PRESENT TENSE

1. CONTAIN your field of vision.

This is the DAY .

Take up your cross DAILY .

Give us this DAY our DAILY bread.

Ecclesiastes 6:3-6: ENJOY WHAT YOU HAVE NOW--TODAY

HOW: practice an ATTITUDE of _ GRATITUDE .

2. Be DELIBERATE .

Phillipians 4:8: Choose what you FOCUS on. Slow down!

Ephesians 5:14-16: Make the _ MOST of every _ OPPORTUNITY .

HOW: Live in the PRESENT --start for just five minutes at a time.

a. PICK AN ACTIVITY YOU LIKE TO DO AND UPGRADE IT

b. PICK AN ACTIVITY YOU DON’T LIKE AND UPGRADE IT

c. DO AN ACTIVITY THAT YOU NORMALLY DO WITH TECHNOLOGY AND DO IT WITHOUT THE TECHNOLOGY

3. Pursue REM

R ELATIONSHIPS E XPERIENCES M EMORIES

­­ LOVE is the one thing we have that has no limits!

Class Notes--Session 3

“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” -Albert Einstein

How do we think about the future?

1. FEAR IT

2. ANALYZE IT

3. IGNORE IT

4. WISH FOR IT

HOPE vs. WORRY

Both are a form of _____TREND___ analysis.

Based on what has come before, we __PROJECT_______ into the future.

Can you transform __WORRY_____ into ___HOPE______?

What does the Bible say about the future?

1. Jeremiah 29:11: I know the ___PLANS______ I have for you.....

2. Eccl. 7:14: A man cannot _DISCOVER____ anything about his __FUTURE____.

3. James 4:13-15: You do not know what will happen __TOMORROW_________.

4. Matthew 6: 25-34: __THESE_____ ___THINGS______ will be given to you.

Radical application: God has given us __MORE____ than we need. What are you doing with it?

Deal with the Future: ___PREPARE but don’t ___PREDICT___________.

Christian hope: God has been there for me in the past, He is here now, and He will take care of me in the future.

HOMEWORK:

Think about a decision you face that will affect your future; a decision that you’ve been putting off because the outcome is uncertain or difficult and you’re afraid to make the decision and move forward.

Now, think about that issue, then ask yourself these questions, and write down the answers. Spend a few minutes on each question, and write everything that comes to mind:

1. Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are considering.

2. What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things back on the upswing, even if temporarily?

3. What are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more probable scenarios?

4. If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control?

5. What are you putting off out of fear?

6. What is it costing you—financially, emotionally, and physically—to postpone action?

7. What are you waiting for?

Questions taken from The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris, ©2007, published by Crown Publishing.

See more at www.fourhourworkweek.com

Thinking Small

One key to appreciating everyday life is to think small. The big issues in our lives--jobs, finances, kids, schools, etc.--are complicated and can take up lots of our mental power to consider all the options, possible outcomes, and surrounding effects. If that's all we think about, we can be pretty miserable. And, there's not a whole lot we can do about it; if your job makes you miserable, it may take awhile to change that.

But several years ago, inspired by a Peter Mayle article I read, I began seeking joy, or at least pleasure and appreciation, from the little routines and obligations I have to do every day. This has been a revelation for me, and has dramatically improved my outlook on life in the here and now. Here are some examples:

• French Press Coffee: I bought a little french press coffee maker to make my daily jolt of caffeine. The french press takes a few minutes longer than a drip machine, but I like the taste better and the little ritual of preparing it every day, combined with the stylish look of the pot on my breakfast table, adds a little lift to my morning that my old Mr. Coffee machine never did.
• A good pen: I quit using the clunky ballpoints that typically filled my pencil cup at the office, and instead put a good rollerball on my Christmas list. Thanks to the generosity of my family that year, I now take pleasure in the smooth travel of good ink over crisp paper whether I am simply jotting down a phone number or taking copious notes at a meeting. Sometimes I even wish I had more to write.
• Walk to the mail: Instead of stopping my car at the mailbox on my way into the driveway, I go ahead an pull in, then walk up the driveway to get the mail. As I walk I have a chance to look around--at the trees, the sky, the other houses, the leaves in the yard--and appreciate the beauty of my neighborhood. It also gives me at least a few breaths of fresh air every day. This only takes 120 seconds or less, but it adds joy to my day.

Hopefully you see the point: our days are filled with quotidian tasks that are potential sources of pleasure and joy. We treat these daily routines as necessary evils in our chase for whatever it is we think will make us happy--the next promotion, the higher salary, next year's vacation. But maybe it's the journey, not the destination, that should be the source of our joy.

What do you do every day? How could you do it better or more deliberately to add a little joy to your everyday life?

Class Notes--Session 2

What are some ways we relate to the past?

1. Study/Learn from it

2. Obsess over it

3. Run from it

4. Forget it

5. Glorify it

6. Idealize it

What does the Bible say about the past?

1. Philippians 3:13-14: ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_forgetting_ what is behind, I _press________ on.......

2. Ecclesiasties 7:10: it is not ___wise_______ to ask such questions.

3. The Prodigal Son: Luke 15:11-32

a. Father: __forgot_____ the past

b. Son: ____learned___ from the past

c. Brother: __obsessed____ over the past

Conclusion: __Seize________ the opportunities that ___today______ presents you!

How should we relate to the past?

The rearview mirror: stop __backing_____ into the future.

1. Put it __in___ ___its___ ____place____.

2. Keep it in ____perspective________.

3. __Build_____ a better one.

HOMEWORK: Write your history. Perhaps imagine your obituary if you were to die today. What would be written about you? What would you want to be written about you?

Getting Past the Past

One challenge to living in the present tense--to enjoying life today--is the sometimes-strong effect of past events on our lives and minds. Sometimes it is bad things--the death of a loved one, a personal failure, an unfortunate accident--that has shaped us and that continues to shape us, affecting how we see ourselves and how we act. Sometimes it is good things--a previous success at work, a personal triumph, the birth of a child--that forever change our self-image and way of looking at the world.

But either way, there is a danger of getting stuck in the past, of reliving the bad things in our mind, trying to think of what could have been done differently; or reliving the good things, never moving on and recognizing that there may be other successes in our lives to come. In extreme cases we can get stuck and completely lose touch with the present--we can be miserable, simply because we aren't engaging with the world around us today.

This Sunday we'll be talking about how to keep our pasts in healthy perspective so that they doesn't ruin the present. But this week, I read an article about a woman who has been through horrors--her family's fishing boat was blown to bits by Irish Republican Army terrorists, killing her father and son and seriously wounding her--and yet she has emerged with an appreciation of life and an ability to still enjoy the present. I found it inspirational, and I hope you do too.

See you Sunday.

Class Notes--Session 1

I was made aware after Sunday's class that while I had passed out notes, I had not passed out pens, so there were several people who wanted to take notes but couldn't. To remedy that, and so that you can share the highlights of the session with friends if you like (by pointing them to this blog), I'll reproduce the notes here with the blanks filled in:

LIVING IN THE PRESENT TENSE

Week 1

What is time? A SEQUENCE of EVENTS .

How Man Views Time

A. Time is a LIMITING factor in our lives.

Our context for life has three dimensions:

1. SPACE

2. CIRCUMSTANCE

3. TIME

B. Time is ILLUSIVE .

We get pulled between MICRO time and MACRO time.

C. Time is A CURRENCY .

1. It has VALUE .

2. We want to SAVE it.

3. MORE is better.

How God Views Time

1. God CREATED time.

2. He is the I AM . (Exodus 3:13-14)

3. A DAY is like A THOUSAND YEARS . (2 Peter 3:8-9)

EVERYTHING is PRESENT TENSE to God.

HOMEWORK:

1. COUNT THE CLOCKS IN YOUR HOUSE
2. TRY TO LIVE AT LEAST PART OF A DAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT A CLOCK